Where Have You Been Tina?

Welcome back to my somewhat revamped blog. I had to take a little break from blogging and being creative in general to focus on my life and God. Finishing college was rough for me because I was trying to overcome depression and general anxiety disorder while being in orgs and maintaining decent grades. One thing that I've learned about myself for certain is that I'm the strongest person that I know. Anyways, I'm back and I am here to share some notes about battling depression/anxiety. I figured that although I still struggle with mental illnesses I learned how to live with them. Maybe what is working for me could work for someone who is reading this.

1. Date Yourself : Being single sucks and I was always so sad because I knew that I wasn’t going to find a partner in a college town. Dating myself was one the best things that I could have done for myself to combat the loneliness I felt in my heart. When I decided to spend quality time on myself I learned  that I love going to the movies, I like taking walks to clear my mind, I love listening to music, and I like painting/drawing. Dating myself is also pretty cool because I can fully live my best life without having to worry about anyone else. I used to be so worried about finding a man that I didn't even know what I liked to do and on top of that, I wasn’t pursuing God fully. This next season of my life I know that God is going to move mountains; it's my butterfly season and I’m ready to live out my divine purpose.
2. Self-Care: Self-care is me doing an activity that makes me forget why I’m depressed in the first place. Self care could be shopping for a cute outfit, cooking, getting my nails done, or catching up on some spooky Netflix show.
3. Pray: Praying is the big kahuna. I used to be so afraid to talk to God about my problems but I’ve learned to trust God and have his will be done in my life. When I graduated UK I felt like I went to college for nothing because a bachelor's degree holds no weight in my field. I knew I needed a break before going to grad school but this post undergrad life is not it chief….it... is not.... it…. So, one night I decided to pray. I prayed for financial stability, my future husband, my family, my friends, my future career, I prayed for everything. I was still depressed as a matter of fact I was so depressed after that specific prayer I thought that the only way out of the depression that I was experiencing was suicide. God had intervened that night in a way that only God himself could. He made me question what free will is and after that night I rededicated my life to Him. I learned that God actually talks to me. Not verbally, but he does talk to me in a way that I can understand what he wants me to do. It's usually through my “intuition”, a specific emotion, or random thought/urge. For example I prayed to God about how I had no family in Lexington and right after that prayer I looked into my closet, saw a dress that I haven’t worn, and went to church. It was like someone told me that I needed to go to church to find what I was looking for. Praying helped me learn who God is. He's almighty and powerful and I'm very much so afraid of his wrath. But with me he's comforting and gentle. God is my bestfriend, he already knows all about me because he knew be before i was in my mothers womb but there's power in me verbally praying to him. I can't explain it, but God is creating change in my life and he has kept a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and a little bit of money in my account that's enough to sustain my cost of living. For that I'm thankful.
4. Journal: If you actually read my blog, I typed up a blog post about journaling. Anyways, journaling is to depression/anxiety as dish soap is to a dirty dish. It really cleanses my mind. With anxiety there's a billion things going on in my mind and I always feel like something is wrong, by writing down everything I am able to clear out my mind and log my thoughts. Journaling helps me put together the puzzle pieces to certain themes in my life. I can always go back in my journal and point out references to certain events or things that I’ve peeped just so I know that I’m not going crazy.
5. Vent: I learned that all I have in this world is myself. Not everyone is going to want the best for me and not everyone is going to want to be my friend and listen to what's going on in my life. However, when I cut the negative people out of my life God replaced them with some amazing people. With some new friends I learned that it's ok for me to cry and be emotional about my life. Crying doesn’t make me weak and talking about events in my life doesn’t mean that I’m messy. I found that when I vent to people I get a different perspective on how I should go about certain struggles that I currently face. its actually pretty cool to open up to people.

I’m pretty sleepy right now so Imma end this blog post right here. Please be on the lookout for more post and VIDEOS!

xoxo Tina